IFS Techniques You Will Learn By Watching “Kate (1): Helping Managers Soften—Shifting “You Should” to “I” Statements” 

Kate identifies a deep-rooted internal conflict between a part that wants to rest and another that fears stagnation or depression if she does. She also explores the role of a critical manager part that pushes her forward but also suppresses emotions. A significant breakthrough occurs when she realizes how her managers communicate through "you" statements rather than "I" statements, and she begins to shift towards a more self-led relationship with these parts.

The session includes moments of deep emotional release, self-compassion, and realization of patterns ingrained since childhood—such as the belief that her emotions were “too much.” By the end, Kate starts to embrace a new way of interacting with her inner system, fostering a more collaborative and compassionate relationship with her parts.

1. Key Internal Family Systems (IFS) Skills You Will Learn by Watching this Session! 

   1. Externalizing Internal Parts

      • Identifying different internal voices (e.g., the “taskmaster,” “anxiety team,” “firefighters,” and the “helpless part”).

      • Using physical objects or writing to represent and communicate with these parts.

   2. Understanding Parts' Interactions

      • Recognizing how parts polarize (e.g., the push-to-keep-going part vs. the rest-seeking part).

      • Understanding how different parts try to protect the self-system but sometimes cause distress.

   3. Self-Led Awareness & Compassion

      • Learning to approach parts with curiosity rather than judgment.

      • Acknowledging and validating parts rather than trying to suppress them.

   4. Reframing Self-Talk from "You" to "I" Statements

      • Managers often communicate in "you should" language, which creates resistance.

      • Shifting to “I feel” statements fosters self-connection and internal harmony.

   5. Recognizing Firefighters & Their Role

      • Understanding how impulsive or rebellious behaviors (like avoiding structure or self-sabotaging with food) serve as protective mechanisms.

   6. Building a Relationship with the Inner System

      • Moving from a critical, forceful internal approach to a collaborative, understanding dynamic.

      • Developing trust in the system’s ability to self-regulate over time.

   7. Tracking Emotional and Physical Responses

      • Linking physical symptoms (like sinus issues) to emotional and psychological conflicts.

      • Noticing shifts in emotions, bodily sensations, and energy as parts express themselves.

   8. Holding Space for Vulnerability

      • Recognizing and comforting young exiled parts (e.g., childhood wounds about being “too much”).

      • Providing reassurance and connection to those parts rather than rejecting or ignoring them.

This session offers deep insight into how IFS can help untangle long-standing patterns, increase self-awareness, and create a more compassionate internal dialogue.

By immersing yourself in this IFS session, you’ll gain a richer understanding of how to connect with and heal your inner world!